Welcome to the Community About Nothing, and Yet Everything.
I've waited a couple of days to share this because I'm not really sure even yet what to make of it. Frankly, I'm not even sure if I can write this in a way that will make sense. Here goes nuttin....
A couple of days ago in the early morning hours, sometime before my alarm woke me up for work, I experienced something that I've never encountered before. Obviously in a dream state, or something as I was exiting a dream state, I experienced an overwhelming sense of eternity. This was nothing I was trying to direct and am convinced it was a natural occurrence in my brain.
Honestly, there wasn't even a great deal of imagery that I can recall. More like a feeling. It was as if I were standing on a plane of infinite dimension in every direction, observing it all at once. Timeless. As I write this, I'm struggling to find the vocabulary to do it justice, but I feel I may lack that ability.
I had this enveloping peace that nothing I face in this life is too challenging because I had already arrived in heaven (no, not the stuff of bright lights, harps and clouds), yet I was still here, and as far back as I could remember. In that moment, all was present, and everything is/was/will be just fine.
In my waking days since, I've been able to recall some of that feeling, as if it is now imprinted in me. Not all of it, but just a small bit. I'd like to experience that again, but I don't want to be the director. I just want to be the recipient.
Maybe that's what storytellers call a "glimpse."
"I am standing on the Mountain of Right, and you are standing in the Valley of Wrong." Deputy Frank Sloup, Pinal County, AZ
Why do I like this one? I have a primary residence on the Mountain of Right.
Of you who read my previous post, how many of you caught the quote I stole from a movie? Can you name the movie and who said it?
Bet you didn’t know there would be a test…..
So, I have completed 4 of 6 chemo infusions, and I have to say that the last one seems to have caused almost no side effects that cannot be otherwise explained by the disease itself. I remain exhausted all the time, and I go home at the end of the workday positively depleted. That, however, seems to be due to the anemia that somewhat existed before chemo started but certainly seems to have been exacerbated by it.
I presently sit at a 40% disability rating with the Veterans Administration with some big stuff pending. I am awaiting a decision on my hearing loss and the PTSD/Depression. The cancer aspect takes a step forward with an exam by a VA contracted provider who will provide a recommendation as to the service connection to the cancer. If it goes my way and I get to 100%, then as soon as the first check hits the bank, I’m retired. While this exam is scheduled for Monday, I have no assurance that a VA determination will be quickly forthcoming. Patience is the key.
My spirits ...
